Updated: Mar 31
You're a non-traditional, low key couple wanting to do your big day your way.
You want your day to be as epic as possible, with as little stress as humanely possible. Quite possibly, the thought of all of that traditional wedding stuff is making you want to vom just a little.
If you're anything like me, you're probably the left-of-centre, shunning of tradition and the wildheart type than someone who wants the big formal frou frou wedding with all the bells and whistles.
If this is you, read on for my TOP TIPS on how to have the epic wedding of your dreams that you deserve; one that's as special and unique as you, without all the wedstress.
TIP #1 Get a crack team of experts who LOVE what they do
Wedding planning can be damn stressful, so make sure you get the right team to bring your dreams to life and turn the pain into fun! There are so many details - too many to be handled by one or two people! Finding the right team to help you plan your day is important if you want to keep your sanity and enjoy the lead up without calling it all off.
There are so many vendors in the industry willing to help you. Find the people that fit your vibe and your personality - and then ask them who they recommend working with. Us wedding vendors tend to gravitate to others who share our vision and ethos, so just ask us - it will make your life 100 times easier when we give you a list of people we love to work with. Trust us, we know great work when we see it and we are more than happy to help you out!
Don't just hire anyone thinking we all do a similar job- everyone has a different niche and different style. Also, there are people in the industry who put their heart and soul into what they do - they're the ones you want to find!
Throughout the process of choosing your team, remember to check in with your gut and ask yourselves does this feel right? Does it feel like you?
TIP #2 Be YOU & celebrate you- it's all about you
You want your personalities and passions to shine through, which is what ultimately makes your wedding stand out and feel special.
Do what your heart desires- especially if it's wacky and not wedding-y"! What's your favourite music? What are some of your fave things to do together? What does your fave date night entail? You can also look at your fave hotels or restaurants and scenes and spaces you love from movies and shows.
Use these as springboards for ideas to make your day unique, special and reflective of you two.
TIP # 3 Find a theme
A theme can really help the rest of the pieces fall into place. Once you decide on a theme you can go wild!
To get a better idea, spend some time checking out wedding websites, blogs and real wedding photos to see what's been done, and what you do and don't like.
Are you drawn towards sparkly and fun; eclectic and one-of-a-kind; modern and minimal; retro or vintage; or all-out glam? What colours do you LOVE in everyday life? What do you wear? What is your aesthetic? If you're an all-black kinda babe, you might want to have a dark wedding with heaps of black everywhere. Into neon, psychedelic rainbow fests? Do it! A huge colourful wed-fest may be right up your alley.
Your theme can be anything from a favourite era, hobby or place to your heritage or culture. Your day, your way.
TIP # 4 F*ck perfection
I know it's your big day and you want it to be perfect. And it will be, in it's own happily chaotic imperfectly perfect way. Don't tie yourself in knots over every littledetail.
Just remember, it's about the VIBE mroe than it is the details. Trust me- noone will notice if you've forgotten something. The one thing that matters more than all the minute stuff is the bigger picture- how will people FEEL when they enter the space? If you haven't got time to sweat the small stuff, get yourself an expert who will do it for you and NAIL IT (see our tip above about getting your crack team of experts lined up)
Your sanity will thank you if you step back and relinquish a little bit of control.
TIP # 5 Make sure you get plenty of time for rest, relaxation etc before the wedding
As well as being one of the most important events in your lifetime, weddings are emotional, high-stress situations. There are people coming and going, there's a timeline to stick to, and combined with all your emotions about the day, it's easy to become overwhelmed.
Try to factor in plenty of time for self care in the months leading up to it- treat yourself to a massage, practice some meditation or yoga, take plenty of walks in the fresh air if you're feeling overwhelmed. Make sleeping and de-stressing a priority so your can feel your very best on the day, rather than tired and burnt out.
With the excitement and nerves running high it may take you a little bit longer to drift off to sleep- so make sleep a priority.. Your health and future self will thank you for the extra zzzz's.
TIP # 6 Don't be afraid to say no to things you don't want
There are ZERO rules on your wedding day, no matter what anyone says, it 's about you and your lover and what you both LOVE.
Your day is not about what others want for you. Feel free to stick the finger to tradition and tune out any well-meaning advice from friends or family about what they think you should do. You don't have to sacrifice your style or your sanity to please others.
You won't be able to please everyone or manage everyone’s emotions. Focus on managing your own…and being true to yourself.
TIP #7 Wear what you damn well want and you will be free
Getting hitched is the perfect opportunity to bring out the more adventurous, playful side of your style. And who says more can't be MORE on your wedding day?
I think it's really important not to change your personal taste on your wedding day to suit others or tradition. Brides who show personality and have the confidence to be unique and adventurous have the most fun!
Don't be afraid to wear what the hell you want, and feel amazing doing so!
TIP # 8 Ask for help
Give ownership of some of the wedding plans and projects to the people around you, and don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it! Try to think of ways you can utilise the unique talents and gifts of your friends and family so they can feel like they are making a valuable and memorable contribution.
You don't have to do it alone (and shouldn't!) Wedding planning is stressful and can take up a large amount of time on top of your usual life commitments, so make sure you speak up and enlist help where needed, whether it's in the lead up, or on the day with logistical stuff.
Getting married is a big deal and we're stoked for you! Now, let's get this planning cracking shall we? We hope these tips help you on your way to creating an amazing, epic day. Grab a wine and happy planning!
Feeling stuck? Feel free to get in touch with me. I LOVE awesome parties and alternative weddings and know a lot of great wedding vendors that do too.
Making you look and feel amazing on your big day is the core of what I do, and I'd be over the moon to help you out with ideas, beauty prep advice and ways to stay zen on your big day. At Killer Queen, we're here for you every step of the way and want to make your day as memorable and epic as possible- it's what it's all about.